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No Small Amount of Pain

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Quick: where’s the most painful spot on your body that you can think of to have a tattoo done?  Well, maybe that’s entirely debatable.  A lot of people say it’s along your ribcage.  Others say that it’s on your neck.  Some might even assure you that it’s on the inside of your lip.  One part of the body that we don’t regularly hear about on which the level of tattoo pain is undoubtedly through the roof is the penis.  I think this is probably something that just goes without saying, so it’s not often a topic of conversation.

Just so we’re all on the same level of understanding here, I’m going to go ahead and say that I can’t even begin to imagine the pain involved in getting tattooed on your penis.  What’s more, there are very few reasons on earth that could ever coax me into finding out.  I think I’d rather take a day of work on my ribs than even twenty minutes on my penis.  How did this become about my penis?  I don’t know, I need to get to the point because this isn’t what I want to talk about at all.

Andreas Muller had 'mini' tattooed on to his penis to win a Mini Cooper (Pic: CEN)

All right, all right, the point…Yes, the point here being that everyone is different and an idea that may leave some horrified can often be enough to entice or encourage someone else.  As per usual when the bizarre/painful is introduced into every day life, it’s done by a zany radio station of some sort.  This time it was done by a radio station in Germany.  The station promised a Mini Cooper vehicle for the person who came up with the craziest stunt.

Well, what’s nuttier than having your penis tattooed?  That was the angle taken by 39-year-old Andreas Muller, who had the word “Mini” inscribed on his penis and subsequently won the contest.  After being tattooed on the radio so that listeners could delight in the sounds of his agony, Muller went on to explain that it was all worth it:

‘Once I’m sitting in the car, it won’t matter anymore. Then the pain will be gone and it’ll be alright.’’

Of course it will be, Andreas.  Unfortunately, after the car is chucked on to the scrap heap in 10-15 years time, you’ll just have to live the remainder of your life with the word “Mini” tattooed on to your penis.

Enjoy that.

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